I have a gazebo. Ok, it’s really a tent-like structure, but it’s got a coffee table and chairs set up under it, and it’s my Private Oasis from the world. It’s best when I get to sit outside after dark, with the twinkling lights lit, a good glass of wine, my hubby and good friends. In that little oasis, the problems from the world melt away and only laughter and happiness are allowed in. Sounds cheezy, right? It is. It’s also strangely true.
The past couple of months, I’ve only used the gazebo to the full extent of the law twice. So many, many nights I want to put out the call to people, “Come to my Gazebo! Come sit and feel the love with me!” But I don’t. To me there’s a difference between saying “I need my friends! (because of some catastrophic event)” and “I need my friends! (because I’ve had a hard day and I’m feeling blue).” I wish every night of my life people were out there until I said “Go away! I’m sleepy!” OK. Not every night. My family and I like our “US” time. But still.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve had a semi-tough week. Nothing particular has happened, but there have been a bunch of little “mishaps”: Anna doesn’t want to play volleyball anymore & is making us “suffer” for having her keep going, Anna is acting like a Tween – mood swings and all, I have a friend having marital problems, Dad’s heart surgery draws near, I want to make more money for my family, my health is “Acting Up” – not enough that I *KNOW* I can’t do things, but I still feel guilty for not doing them… Yeah, I’m doing it all to myself. I tend to do that – beat myself up.
[You know, there are still days when something happens to me and I think, “Oh, I need to call Mom and tell her what happened.” Then I remember and kick myself for making myself feel bad.]
Ok. Phil is teaching Anna how to play chess. It’s bedtime. I want chocolate. And wine. And ice cream. And my gazebo. And whiskey. Oh, dear me…….